You know how people say there are certain prayers you need to be careful to say? Like, “God, I want to be a more patient person.” Well, back on January 7th, I said a prayer I don’t recommend saying lightly because it just might turn your world upside down… “God, show me who in my life is NOT for me. Who is pretending to care for me, but doesn’t really.” The answer to this prayer has caused some tremendous pain these past 11 months, but also taught me a lot.
Those who are close to me know that I’m very protective over the people who are in my life. I don’t allow people to feel comfortable talking about them or trashing them in my presence. I will quickly correct you, and defend their character. So from here on out, I’m choosing to uphold reciprocal standards for those who claim to care for me.
“Hurt people, hurt people” is a saying I’m no longer willing to accept. Can I empathize? Absolutely! But if a person refuses to get help, and continuously chooses to lash out at me or my (shrinking) circle, I can choose to no longer give the space to enable toxicity.
Without knowing my January prayer, someone I just met told me yesterday: Laura, God is going to surprise you with the people who will have your back on this journey you’re about to embark on… I was so encouraged because He’s already been surprising me in gracious ways – from coworkers, to professors, to new friends!
Oh, and all this isn’t coming out of the blue. This is 1 year of therapy (still in it) & 5 months of seminary calling me to accept a healthier standard for myself. Peace of mind is a gift I’m choosing to protect.